.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
