tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
