his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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