He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
