I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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