and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
