Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
