Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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