Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
