Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
