What did we do last night that was yellow?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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