ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
please come you make the beer taste better
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
