You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
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This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
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I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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