i permit you to call me
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
All I want is dick and wine.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
