i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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