After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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