Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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