I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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