My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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