idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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