I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
