whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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