Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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