I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
