theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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