I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
What a dumb baby whore.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Randomize
