I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
