remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
