College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
