I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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