Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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