I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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