I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
