everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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