he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
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Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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