so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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