How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
