you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
