Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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