Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
