so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
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