My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
