Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
