I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on