I'm so fucking centered right now
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
