Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
