dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize