I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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