from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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