Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Boobs are out for the taking
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
