Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
So squirting runs in the family.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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