you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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