I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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