I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
