do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
