i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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