Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
