If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You are the jesus of drinking
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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