He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
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Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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