i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
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