no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
