he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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