I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
