He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
she pinky promised me she was 18
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize