my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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